Monday, August 6, 2012

I Can Only Imagine Right Now


I know what it feels like to be inside on a beautiful summer day with not a cloud in the sky and to only look out and imagine all the scenic places in the world, exciting things to do, things to see, things to explore and experience. To think that I’ve done so little in comparison to the vastness of things to experience has me yearning for freedom and adventure. I understand why The Lion King affects me so profoundly. It has been almost a year since the movie came out in 3d, September of last year, and when I saw it sometime in October, and I still think about it. The moment I came home after seeing TLK in 3d with a good friend of mine for the first time since I was kid, I sat on the couch overwhelmed with a feeling of lack in my life. Something very important to me was missing in my life that I had experienced as a surrogate while I watched TLK that night. On a new sticky note that I had opened, the two terms of desire for adventure with strong, deep relationships struck me. As soon as these two terms entered my mind, something told me I’ve hit it exactly on the mark. These two things have eluded me for the vast majority of my life and these were things I desired for. I didn’t have to think long and hard for these two answers to come to me. As I sat there, thinking and typing, “Why would the lion king make me feel like there was a giant hole in my soul, a giant hole in my life?” or something to the extent of this, the two answers were nailed right into my mind. As soon as I wrote them down, I felt this feeling of “this is it. This is exactly what I felt was lacking in my life and during the movie I felt it”. Many months have passed since I saw TLK three more times after that night for a total of four times, and after doing my Mythology and Folklore final essay on Propp’s morphology for The Lion King, having to watch the movie, I always get sad when the movie is nearing its end. These intense emotions of excitement, adventure, sadness, despair, love, hope, and power that stimulate me during the movie are gone when the movie ends. I always feel a little lost after watching the movie, feeling like I still have to work hard in school and work hard in relationships to earn these powerful emotions such are adventure and having strong, deep, close, and open relationships with emotional intimacy. These things have to be worked at. I’ve heard that the journey is more important that the actual attainment of the goal but I don’t think it should minimize the importance of attaining the goal though. I know my goal to have true freedom of time, money, and independence so I can pursue adventure, excitement, and ever deeper forms of love will take time. I just hope it’s not too far down the road and that it’s around the corner.

When I visit my Lion King playlist in my YouTube account, I have noticed that some videos have been removed. Around the time last year when TLK came out in 3d, there was a time around then that more videos of the lion king were being removed and although it has slowed down now, it still angers and saddens me that YouTube is removing these videos. These videos are a way for me to experience the parts of the movie with those emotions again with the comments and view count of other people. It is not just the video that I love revisiting. It’s the videos with lots of comments and views daily that I like to visit to share my love for this movie. It feels lonely to watch a video I love so much and has affected my life with only sparse views. I have grown an emotional attachment to these videos and their removal hurts me the same way if you’ve lost something of emotional value to you. I know that YouTube is not for posting copyrighted material, but damn you YouTube. Damn you.

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