Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Science that is Independently Corroborating What Dolores Cannon is Obtaining from "The Subconscious"

Firstly, who is Dr. Bruce H. Lipton?

http://www.brucelipton.com/about-bruce/ 


New, Amazing, and Hard to Believe Scientific Discoveries from Dr. Bruce Lipton:


1.      “In the eighties, when Lipton discovered that the cell membrane is its brain, his breakthrough research suggested that environmental signals whether of love or another emotion are primary in creating illness…”

“Lipton clarifies that this new area of study reveals that environmental influences are more prominent in causing illness than genes. He says new cancer research suggests that genetic factors influence the occurrence of illness a mere 10% of the time. In other words, the perception of our environment is responsible for our body’s health 90% of the time…”

“Even more interesting, Lipton reports current research demonstrates how our protein structures are more highly activated by non-physical signals than chemical signals. In other words, our environmental perceptions have a more powerful influence on our health than drugs. Thus science is telling us, we have more innate capacity to heal our ills than the pharmacy” (Lipton).


2.      “Until recently, conventional medicine dismissed the role of the mind in the functioning of the body, except for one pesky exception — the placebo effect, which demonstrates that the mind has the power to heal the body when people hold a belief that a particular drug or procedure will effect a cure, even if the remedy is actually a sugar pill with no known pharmaceutical value. Medical students learn that one third of all illnesses heal via the magic of the placebo effect” (Lipton).

“One compelling example of the mind’s power over biology can be gleaned from the mysterious dysfunction commonly referred to as multiple personality disorder, more officiously known as dissociative identity disorder (DID). A person with DID actually loses his or her own ego identity and takes on the unique personality and behavioral traits of a completely different person.

How could this be? Well, it’s like listening to a radio station in your car and, as you travel, the station becomes staticky and fades out as a different station on the same frequency grows stronger. This can be jarring if, for example, you are cruising with The Beach Boys and, a couple of choppy moments later, you find yourself in the midst of a fire-and-brimstone, Bible-thumping revival.

Neurologically, multiple personalities resemble radio-controlled biological robots whose “station identification” uncontrollably fades from one ego identity to another. The unique behavior and personality expressed by each ego can be as vastly different as folk music is from acid rock.

While almost all attention has been placed on the psychiatric characteristics of persons affected with DID, there are also some surprising physiological consequences that accompany ego change. Each of the alternate personalities has a unique electroencephalogram (EEG) profile, which is a biomarker equivalent to a neurological fingerprint. Simply put, each individual persona comes with its own unique brain programming.

Incredible as that may seem, many persons with multiple personalities change eye color in the short interval it takes to transition from one ego to the next. Some have scars in one personality that inexplicably disappear as another personality emerges. Many exhibit allergies and sensitivities in one personality but not in another. How is this possible?

DID individuals might help us answer that question because they are the poster children for a burgeoning new field of science called psychoneuroimmunology, which, in people-speak, means the science (—ology) of how the mind (psycho—) controls the brain (—neuro—), which in turn controls the immune system (—immun—).

The paradigm-shattering implications of this new science are simply this: while the immune system is the guardian of our internal environment, the mind controls the immune system, which means the mind shapes the character of our health. While DID represents a dysfunction, it undeniably reveals the fact that programs in our mind control our health and well-being as well as our diseases and our ability to overcome those diseases” (Lipton).


“What does science say about this mind over matter stuff? The answer depends upon which science you ask.

The science of conventional medicine tries to reassure us that none of the phenomena we just described actually exists. That’s because today’s biology textbooks and mass media describe the body and its component cells as machines made of biochemical building blocks.

This perception has programmed the general public to accept the belief in genetic determinism, which is the notion that genes control physical and behavioral traits. This sad interpretation is that our fate is inextricably linked to ancestral characteristics determined by genetic blueprints derived from our parents and their parents and their parent’s parents, ad infinitum. This causes people to believe that they are victims of heredity.

Fortunately, the Human Genome Project (HGP) has pulled the rug out from under conventional science’s beliefs concerning genetic control. This is ironic because it set out to prove the opposite. According to conventional belief, the complexity of a human should require vastly more genes than are found in a simple organism.

Surprisingly, the HGP discovered that humans have nearly the same number of genes as lowly animals, a finding that inadvertently reveals a fundamental myth-perception underlying genetic determinism. Science’s pet dogma has long outlived its usefulness and needs to be mercifully put to sleep.

So, if genes do not control life, what does?

The answer is: we do.

Evolving new-edge science reveals that our power to control our lives originates from our minds and is not preprogrammed in our genes.

This is great news. The power for change is within us. However, to activate the amazing power of mind over genes we must reconsider our fundamental beliefs—our perceptions and misperceptions—of life” (Lipton).




3.      How Your Beliefs Control Your Biology:
“Conventional physics sees the human body as a machine made of atoms and molecules but the quantum physicists reveal that underneath that apparent physical structure there is nothing other than energy. That means we are energy beings interacting with everything in the entire energy field. What we are beginning to recognize is that there is an invisible world that we have not dealt with in regard to understanding the nature of our health. In other words, rather than focusing on matter, in a quantum world we focus on energy. In the world we live in we are entangled in an unfathomable number of energy vibrations and we are connected to all of them! In trying to understand a person’s health, if you only focus on the physical, you miss the energy. If you only focus on the person, you miss the influence of the field. We are coming into a more holistic way of studying the fact that everything is one whole.” (Lipton).

“In quantum physics we also encounter a world of uncertainty. We have to let go of our Newtonian belief that we can determine everything, control everything and dominate nature, and come back to the natural theology approach that said to learn the patterns as best we can and live in harmony” (Lipton).

“Our thoughts are part of the energy field as is the energy from other living organisms and from non-living things. Everything is giving off energy. As we are doing neurological processing of the world that we live in, including our thoughts and beliefs, we are actually creating a magnetic vibration, like a tuning fork that emanates from our head out into the field. Scientists have found that if they take our magnetic field and direct it back into the head they can influence brain activity.

Why this becomes relevant in our lives and in quantum mechanics is that we go back to the quote by Einstein: “The field is the sole governing agency of the particle.” If we apply this understanding of Einstein’s to the field that we generate with our thoughts, we can see that there is a connection wherein our thoughts can give shape to the particles that are the world we live in. All of a sudden we see that we are not disconnected little pieces moving around on the planet. We are little broadcast devices, giving the field shape and the shape that we generate manifests as the life experiences that we have” (Lipton).
 
“It has been well known for a long time that in “crowd effects” or “mass event effects” where you get enough people together with their thoughts coherent, major events can occur on the planet” (Lipton).

“In fact, when quantum physics was first becoming accepted as the mechanisms by which the universe operates, the physicists had trouble with this themselves. They could say, “Well, I can see these ideas working at the level of atoms and molecules but I can’t bring that kind of weirdness into my life.” So there was an arbitrary decision back in the 1920s to say, “Let’s restrict quantum mechanics to the world of atoms and molecules and use Newtonian physics to describe the rest of the world.” That is why biology went on its merry way using Newtonian physics. Yet we are today beginning to see work by very reputable scientists that says the universe is created by our observations; we create the field and the field shapes the particle. The big lesson is that what you think or ask for, as the Asians would say, is what you are going to get. It is not a coincidence; we are actively involved in physically shaping the world that we experience” (Lipton).


"How It Works: the Biology
 To understand how it works, we are going to talk about the biology. We start with the fact that we are made of cells and cells are living organisms made from protein building blocks…

The blueprints for the gears are the genes. When I need to make gears for myself I have to go get the blueprint from the DNA, copy the blueprint, which is called RNA, and then use that RNA to build the proteins…

Life is a result of proteins being engaged by signals in a lock and key fashion. Newtonian-based conventional biology considers that all the signals that control biology must be chemical. As a result, the pharmaceutical industry was created to make new, life-controlling signals called drugs. Conventional medicine believes that if your biology is not working appropriately, your gears are not engaging correctly. Therefore, if we change the signals in your system we can change the regulation and functioning of the protein gears and take you from a diseased state into a state of health by changing your chemistry. But quantum mechanics questions whether the “signal” has to be a physical chemical. In fact, invisible energy signals are a hundred times more efficient in signaling proteins than are actual chemical signals. To summarize, proteins provide the function-creating gears; protein movement, driven by the binding of signals, provides for life; and the signals can be of two kinds: chemical signals or the more efficient energy signals

The energy signals are the medium that unites most complementary medicine modalities. Asian medicine, for example, with its meridians and acupuncture points, is based on dealing with energy fields. Western medicine tries to manipulate the body’s physical components while Eastern medicine tries to change the body’s energy fields. It is important to note that quantum physics, which describes the mechanics of the universe, emphasizes that energy signals are a hundred times more efficient than drugs” (Lipton).



What Can Go Wrong?
 If you are expressing a dysfunction or a disease, to what can you attribute it? It is probably due either to the proteins not having the right structure, or the presence of inappropriate signals. How can the protein structure be off? Defective genes alter a protein’s amino acid sequence, causing proteins to be assembled incorrectly and as a result not function appropriately, thus leading to disease. But here’s the catch. Only a very small percentage of people actually have genetic defects that can cause a disease, far less than five percent of the population. That means ninety-five percent of us arrived on this planet with genes that were capable of providing us with a healthy existence. For ninety-five percent of the population, if they are failing in health it is not something wrong with the genes and the proteins, it is something wrong with the body’s signals. Inappropriate signals are the source of most human illnesses and dysfunctions.

What could cause the signals to be off? The first cause is trauma, damage from an accident that interferes with the conduction of signals from the brain. The second is from toxins, chemicals that shouldn’t be in the body but when present interfere with the body’s signaling chemistry. And the third, most important and predominant source of incorrect signaling is the mind. If the mind sends the wrong information at inappropriate times, our systems become imbalanced, leading to dysfunctions and diseases. Therefore rather than focusing on the genes and the body’s chemistry, which is the myopic focus of conventional allopathic medicine, the new physics and the new biology reveal that we should be focusing on both the physical signals and the energetic signals, which include thought.

The surface of our cells may have over a hundred thousand protein receptors waiting for their complementary signals to show up. The cell reads both the physical and non-physical elements of the environment through these proteins. Signals generally provoke a response that causes the cell to maintain its survival. “Food is out there; take it in. Toxins are out there; escape and avoid them.” The skin of the cell and the skin of the human body carry out the exact same functions. They’re “read and respond to” signals” (Lipton).



The Role of Perception:
 On the surface of the cell at any one time there are over a hundred thousand different switches prepared to respond to a massive variety of environmental signals. While we can describe the nature of one signal engaging one response, we have to incorporate the complexity of wholeness when thousands of signals are acted upon at the same time. If we really want to know what the cell is doing we can’t look at any one switch; we have to identify what a hundred thousand switches are doing…

These protein switches control the functions of our lives through awareness of the environment. That is precisely the definition for the word perception: an awareness of the elements of the environment through a physical sensation. These membrane switches are fundamental units of perception; they read an environmental perception and adjust the biology to the need required. This becomes very personal because it is the way we perceive the world that controls our behavior. Perception controls behavior

If our perceptions are accurate then the opportunity of survival is very great. But if we are programmed with misperceptions and read the environment inaccurately, then that means we will inappropriately engage our responses. Consider an anorexic person looking in a mirror. While we may see that person as dangerously thin, the anorexic perceives himself or herself as very large and fat. That misperception signals their biology to get rid of more fat and that misreading of environmental cues can lead to their death. The significance is very clear: when our perceptions are inaccurate, our behaviors are no longer synchronized to support our survival.

Perception also controls the read-out of the genes. It is how we see life that determines which genes will be activated to provide for our survival. Again, emphasizing the role of misperception, if we inappropriately activate genes because we sent the wrong signal at an inappropriate time, then we can subvert the function of the biology and actually cause disease and dysfunction. We are not so much the victims of genes as we are the creator of our lives, selecting genes to control our systems, based upon our perception of reality.

It is true that we have a period of development from conception to the fetal stage wherein the body plan is being laid down and the structure is being coordinated by the genes. Information feedback between the embryo, its environment and the genes controls this developmental period. This is a period where genes are the primary source of control. From the fetal stage on, our perceptions of the environment determine what is going to happen to the rest of our development” (Lipton).



Dealing With Stress:
 Survival is very much tied in with growth mechanisms that replace the number of cells we lose every day as a result of normal attrition. But another part of our survival behavior engages a completely different set of mechanisms: those we use for our protection. Protection shuts down growth processes and allocates energy to behaviors needed to sustain us in a threatening situation. We engage in either growth or protection mechanisms every moment of our lives, funding these activities with our life energy. It takes energy to grow and it takes energy to protect ourselves. When we engage in protection mechanisms, we close ourselves down and conserve energy by shutting off growth.

Nature designed us to use protection in acute responses like running away from a saber tooth tiger. But if we maintain protection for too long, we compromise our survival. What really becomes important is this: how much of our lives are in growth and how much in protection? The more we live in fear, the more we allocate our energy into protection. The more afraid we become, the more we shut down growth-to the extent that we can be scared to death. In the world that we live in today, the protection response has become a greater and greater percentage of our everyday life experience; most of us are living in very high levels of stress and are continuously debilitating our system by interfering with growth. Cells cannot move in both directions at the same time. They are either in growth, open to the environment and assimilating what’s going on, or in protection, shutting themselves down waiting for the environment to clear itself before again expressing their normal functions. We are a community of cells that responds to perceptions generated by our central nervous system.

Today we have fears from which we seemingly can’t escape. Who is Al-Qaeda and where are they? Where is the bird flu? We are presented with fears that threaten our survival, perceptions that cause us to question whether we can stay alive. Those perceptions cause us to get into a protection posture and shut down life-conserving growth. This is important because it affects almost everybody on the planet today.

We have two different protection mechanisms. The immune system deals with internal threats like viruses, bacteria, parasites, or cancer cells. The adrenal system secretes stress hormones that protect us against exterior threats like a poisonous snake or an attacker. Stress hormones cause the blood vessels of the gut to constrict and they also cause the immune system to shut off. The reason for that is very obvious: if you are being chased by a lion, you don’t put energy into fighting off a bacterial infection; you put it all into running. The medical professional has known for years that stress hormones shut off the immune system. They provide recipients of grafted tissues or organs with stress hormones, so that their immune systems do not reject the grafted foreign tissue. But what does this mean in the operation of our day-to-day lives? Every day, as we experience stress we’re debilitating our immune system.

As we repress the immune system, common everyday things can start to take over and create disease. Most people are very familiar with this because as we find more stress in our lives we get weaker and sicknesses becomes the way of life. Kids at school, for example, are more likely to get sick around exam time. The concept that we have to catch something is silly because it turns out that most of us have almost all of the pathogens that affect humans in our bodies already. The stress that inhibits the immune system also shuts down growth processes that replace cells lost to normal attrition. With enough stress, there will be a point where the numbers of cells lost and not replaced will compromise our functions and we will start to express a disease.

There is another factor of stress that I refer to as “adding-insult-to-injury.” Stress hormones cause the blood vessels in the forebrain to constrict, forcing the blood to the hindbrain to nourish the high-speed reflex center used in stressful conditions. Basically, constricting the blood vessels in the forebrain shuts down consciousness and intelligence. So an interesting and unwanted aspect of the stress response is that we become less intelligent when we are under stress. Therefore, a group of people or a nation that is bathed in fear is less intelligent than a nation that is living in growth and harmony; those living in fear will make “hindbrain” reflex decisions that may be inappropriate. This may account for some of the conditions of the world we live in right now because the fear levels are so great. It becomes incumbent upon us to recognize that our biology doesn’t know the difference between a real fear and a made-up fear. The simple reality is that our perceptions and beliefs, whether right or wrong, are still going to control our biology.

Our biology did not intend for us to engage stress mechanisms as a twenty-four hour, 365 days a year event. It was designed as a response to an acute event; the rest of the time we should be maintaining growth. Yet the world that we have chosen (the media, the government, et cetera) really encourages us to live in ongoing fear and it causes great debilitation of our physiological maintenance and the neurological and immunological characters that we express. It is important for us to understand that if we change our perceptions, we can change our biology and our world. We must stop living in fear because it is killing us as individuals and threatening our existence as a species” (Lipton).


                                         Biology of Belief - by Bruce Lipton (full documentary)


 

Compare what we just read from Dr. Bruce Lipton with that of what the famous self-help guru, Anthony “Tony” Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within writes:

Chapter 4: Belief Systems- The Power To Create And The Power To Destroy

“Beliefs are not limited to impacting our emotions or actions. They can literally change our bodies in a matter of moments. I had the pleasure of interviewing Yale professor and best-selling author Dr. Bernie Siegel. As we began to speak about the power of belief, Bernie shared with me some of the research he’d done on people with Multiple Personality Disorders. Incredibly, the potency of these people’s beliefs that they had become a different person resulted in an unquestioned command to their nervous system to make measurable changes in their biochemistry. The result? Their bodies would literally transform before the researchers’ eyes and begin to reflect a new identity at a moment’s notice. Studies document such remarkable occurrences as patients’ eye color actually changing as their personality changes, or physical marks disappearing and reappearing! Even diseases such as diabetes or high blood pressure come and go depending on the person’s belief as to which personality they’re manifesting.

Beliefs even have the capacity to override the impact of drugs on the body. While most people believe that drugs heal, studies in the new science of psychoneuroimmunology (the mind-body relationship) have begun to bear out what many others have suspected for centuries: our beliefs about the illness and its treatment play as significant a role, maybe an even more significant role, than the treatment itself. Dr. Henry Beecher from Harvard University has done extensive research that clearly demonstrates that we often give credit to a drug, when in reality it’s the patient’s belief that makes the difference” (76).
“One demonstration of this was a groundbreaking experiment in which 100 medical students were asked to participate in testing two new drugs. One was described to them as a super-stimulant in a red capsule, the other as a super-tranquilizer in a blue capsule. Unbeknownst to the students, the contents had been switched: the red capsule was actually a barbiturate, and the blue capsule was actually an amphetamine. Yet half of the students developed physical reactions that went along with their expectations- exactly the opposite of the chemical reaction the drugs should have produced in their bodies! These students were not just given placebos; they were given actual drugs. But their beliefs overrode the chemical impact of the drug on their bodies. As Dr. Beecher later stated, a drug’s usefulness ‘is a direct result of not only the chemical properties of the drug, but also the patient’s belief in the usefulness and effectiveness of the drug’” (76-77).


“Drugs are not always necessary, [but] belief in recovery always is.”
-          Norman Cousins

“I had the privilege of knowing Norman Cousins for almost seven years, and I was fortunate enough to have the last taped interview with him just one month before he passed on. In that interview, he shared a story about how strongly our beliefs affect our physical bodies. At a  football game in Monterey Park, a Los Angeles suburb, several people experienced the symptoms of food poisoning. The examining physician deduced that the cause was a certain soft drink from the dispensing machines because all of his patients had purchased some prior to becoming ill. And announcement was made over the loudspeaker requesting that no one patronize the dispensing machine, saying some people had become ill and describing the symptoms. Pandemonium immediately broke out in the stands as people retched and fainted in droves. Even a few people who had not even gone near the machine became ill! Ambulances from local hospitals did a booming business that day, as they drove back and forth to the stadium, transporting multitudes of stricken fans. When it was discovered that the dispensing machine was not the culprit, people immediately and ‘miraculously’ recovered” (77). 

“We need to realize that our beliefs have the capacity to make us sick or make us healthy in a moment. Beliefs have been documented to affect our immune systems” (77).
 



Monday, October 1, 2012

Three Goals: One Current Goal and The Momentary Delay of my Two Other Goals Due to Recent Circumstances

Monday; October 1, 2012; 8:47 PM:

I want to add another goal of mine that I have recently took a desire to pursue:

A.    My current goal as of right now being in nursing school: to learn what I need to learn to heal, treat, and give hope to those that are sick.
B.    Two future goals I will also want to achieve when I have the freedom of time, money, and independence:
         - To pursue a life of adventure, excitement, and travel
         - To develop relationships based on strong, deep emotional connection and emotional intimacy/ closeness


What do I need to do to work towards my current goal of learning ways to heal, treat, and give hope to those that are sick?

-          Read Dolores Cannon’s books to understand her works and where she is coming from (who is she exactly?, what is her work?, what has she found?, what has she discovered in her work?)
-          Learn Dolores Cannon’s Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique
-          Learn and do well in nursing school
-          Learn Chi Going and workshops by those that have learned how to use Chi Gong to heal others
-          Learn the science that Dr. Bruce Lipton- author of The Biology of Belief- is saying and relate to the power of belief according to Anthony “Tony” Robins in his book, Awaken the Giant Within
-          Learn and piece together areas of Quantum Mechanics- in the four part NOVA documentary of The Fabric of the Cosmos with Brian Greene- that are independently confirming what Dolores Cannon is saying  


October 1, 2012; 8:57 PM

Friday, September 14, 2012

David Wygant Email Newsletter: Why I Don’t Hang Out With Drinkers

I just checked my Google email and read a wonderfully well-written email from David Wygant's email newsletter series:


"Hi Michael,
People always wonder all the time why I don’t drink.
It’s a personal preference of mine because to me, I get high off of life.
And most drinkers annoy the hell out of me.
Most people can’t control their alcohol. Meaning, their personality switches at one point or another during the imbibing
I have a lot of friends that will suck down a glass or two of wine, and you won’t notice a single difference in their personality at all. Great, I got no issues with that. A friend of mine, he does that and has eight Scotches. You would never know it, ever. He basically is the same person the whole time.
But the majority of people annoy the shit out of me when they drink.
Drunk talk is stupid talk.
Their voices get higher–especially women. They get more shrill, almost like nails on the chalkboard.
Men, they get so loud and obnoxious. It’s unbelievable. And they start calling each other ‘brother’ or ‘dude’. It drives me nuts.
I’m pretty mellow. Not a loud person at all. I don’t like to be around loud people. To me, drinkers are loud, and it gives me a headache. I tend to leave when the drinking begins.
No problem, they can all hang out together.
If I’m sitting in a room full of smokers and they want to smoke and talk about their nicotine high, then I’ll walk outside and let them enjoy it. I don’t want to rain on their parade, so you’ll never really see me hanging out at high alcohol consumption events.
Not my style, not my scene, not the type of people I want to hang with, but they can all hang together.
That’s really the reason why I don’t hang out with drinkers. Now, my drinker friends can control themselves, and that’s great. But I find most people can’t.
Most people get loud. They get obnoxious. They start saying things.
And a lot of people get really insecure too. The alcohol plays with them.
A lot of people get liquid courage, or they think it’s courage. And they go and approach the opposite sex.
It really is bullshit. It’s not courage at all. It’s the louder version of yourself, and that’s it.
A lot of women I’ve been with, when they drink, they get insecure. Drives me fucking nuts. The alcohol starts to get inside their brain, and then they start to ask stupid questions.
“Do you still like me?”
I did two hours ago before you started drinking the wine and then the Vodka. No, it’s all your own fucking paranoia right now, due to the fact that you’re drinking.
Keep your brain clear, your mind clear. You can handle alcohol, great, then you can hang with me. If you can’t handle alcohol, then you’ll know. If you’re at a party, and you see me leaving and everybody’s drinking, you’ll know I’m just around a bunch of loud, close talkers.
I also said when I owned a bar years ago, on the side of an alcohol bottle, that they should add this warning label:
Warning: Consumption of this beverage may make you sound and act like an insecure asshole.
Like I said, let the smokers hang with the smokers, let the pot heads hang with the pot heads, let the coke addicts hang with the coke addicts, the meth addicts hang with the meth addicts, and the alcohol consumers hang out with the alcohol consumers.
Nothing wrong with it. Let the vegans hang with the vegans. Let the meat eaters chow down on a steak with each other. Let the beer consumption people hang with the beer consumption people. We all like who we are, we’re all comfortable with who we are. We all know what we don’t want to put up with.
So, people, choose your friends wisely, and don’t just go with the crowd.
That’s how I roll.
Your friend,
                               

http://www.davidwygant.com                                                                                "


After reading this, it makes me feel proud that I'm not a drinker either. Many of David's reasons are similar to mine. To know that such a great conversationalist and someone whom I have a lot of respect for focuses on having relationships based on who he is and his preference of conversation further inspires me to be myself. He does not go with the crowd because it seems to be the popular thing to do.

I personally have tried alcohol a couple times but only to try the taste. People who go to parties because they truly get stimulation from having lots of people around (more extroverted) are fine with me. It's those who go to parties solely to conform and be part of the in-crowd that annoys me. I do not enjoy the abundant small talk that is required at parties. I do not enjoy the raunchy life that is associated with alcohol. The types of conversations that are typical at parties lack depth, intellect, and manners. I love intimate conversations with depth and to do this, one must be fully aware of the conversation and the dynamics that are going on.  Don't get confused though, the types of conversations I like to engage in aren't ALWAYS serious. We joke, tease each other every now and then, and have more than enough laughs for my taste- I don't want my jaw to be sore at the end of the day.

As David Wygant stated: "Drunk talk is stupid talk". It's one of the main reasons I don't go to college parties. Parties have booze and marijuana. People who engage in stupid talk hang out with those that engage in stupid talk. Not my scene.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My Top 5 Instrumental and Terminal Values



My Top 5 Instrumental Values:

1.       Open-mindedness/ Understanding and Accepting
2.       Polite and Well-mannered
3.       Ambitious and Hard Working
4.       Honest and Sincere
5.       Reflective and Intellectual


My Top 5 Terminal Values:

1.       Freedom to pursue what I want, when I want (Wealthy in Time, Money, and Independence). Not being bound to other obligations.
2.      True Friendship (Friendship based off of a strong, deep emotional connection/ intimacy rather than just hi-bye friends or activity-friends)
3.      A Life of Adventure
4.      A World of Beauty (Nature and the Great Outdoors)
5.      Wisdom (Having a mature Understanding of Life)  

Monday, September 3, 2012

Thoughts of the Day: Sunday; September 2, 2012


Wow it’s already Sunday night. God time seems to fly by when I’m back here on the weekends at my hometown. I read and bookmarked an article I really liked some time ago that I just revisited today. It’s called, “How To Have More Best Friends in Life: The Heartfelt Guide”, written by the Personal Excellence blog.


I feel like this article put into words very well the types of friendships and conversations I desire. I often feel frustrated when conversations are just the, “superficial discussions and slapstick jokes, which fade away in distant memory the next day, never to surface again” (Personal Excellence). As I’ve said before, most people put up a barrier towards other people so that their friends can’t really get near the true them. I’ve been lucky to have experienced a friend who is open to discussing more personal stuff. He seems to have a knack for taking conversations deeper. I’ve been trying to learn from him. He’s leaving for Davis in a few weeks. It feels somewhat unmanly for me to say this, but I’ll certainly miss the times we’ve had together on Friday and Saturday nights where we just sat and talked about our lives- many times about his life more than my own but that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy listening to other people’s intimate thoughts.

I’m not sure what it is. I just can’t seem to recall how I feel at times throughout my day. These emotions are strong in the present moment when they happen but the events are not significant to the point where it’s on my mind 24/7. Someone reading this might not have an idea what I’m talking about. I’ll attempt to give an example.

Today after playing basketball at Saratoga, my brother and I decided to go to Subway. Not a big deal, I’m not going on a trip or even visiting an amusement park. It’s Subway. After getting home and lying on the ground next to Lucky and stroking her fur, my brother said, “Ok, let’s go to Subway”. You would imagine I would just reply, “all right” and head out. But I responded, “Why can’t Grace (my sister) go?” My sister commonly buys outside food for my brother and I when we request her to due to laziness. However, I had an underlying reason for wanting my sister go.

The very last time I went to Subway to purchase a foot long, I ended up recognizing the girl who worked there. She was a girl who was in my De Anza Literature Mythology & Folklore class that I took over the summer. It was a Saturday night, and I wondered to myself, “what the hell? Should this girl be with her friends on a Saturday night?” I’m quite sensitive to the image I give out and hence I am also sensitive to any sort of underlying message other people’s actions or words give out. Being a Saturday night, I thought all girls who are at least semi-attractive and wear miniskirts to class would be out partying. I know I’m stereotyping with the word “all” but I certainly feel strongly towards the belief that girls who stress sexy- regardless whether their attractiveness is based more due to make up use or not- are out with their friends and strutting their stuff on weekends. So here I am a bit shocked to see her here and begin to feel some self-consciousness- as I usually am around attractive women. It did catch me by surprise though since I did not know the girl working behind the counter was my classmate until she was ready to take my order. I proceeded with my order and asked her opinion of the class we had finished. She replied that she liked the people in the class but I knew she was referring specifically to the people she was sitting with who they together were loud and “the popular group in the class”. Yea it sounds weak to still care about popularity since I am out of high school for more than two years now but it bothers me. So no doubt I found them somewhat annoying. My sister was there with me and my brother that day ordering Subway and my sister asks her, “oh, did you go to Lynbrook High School as well?” My sister had the unfortunate luck of being appointed by a late and irresponsible doctor thereby resulting in her being somewhat oxygen starved in her brain. So unfortunately she is a bit mentally challenged. She was in Special Education when she was in school. She was not the most challenged of the special educated students and she actually would have ranked as one of the better off students who had a mental disability. Although she is 24 now- four years older than my brother and I- her English is still a bit choppy so one can deduce from her not-so-perfect English speaking ability that she is either a foreigner or a somewhat mentally challenged individual. I’d imagine that the girl working at the Subway that night would have thought that something about my sister seemed a bit off. Although regardless of my sister’s annoyances and irritations, I care about my sister and don’t want others to mistreat her, treat her different, or poorly in any sort of way. I cringed when my sister asked the obvious question, “what’s mythology?” to my ex-classmate. My brother replied to my sister.

The conversation pretty much ended from there as I don’t really remember anything else being said. After paying for our Subs, we headed out the door with me not saying any form of, “bye”. It was a tad bit rude to not have some form of formal exit but based on the distance I was standing from the checkout register, I just turned around and headed for the exit. I didn’t give a formal exit due to multiple reasons. I did find her decently attractive, and not being a stud with the ladies, I have come to dislike what I don’t have. I found her group loud and attention seeking in class- but who isn’t right?- and since I sat a few rows behind them in the back of the classroom, my direct line of view was their group, so my overall feeling towards them was and is one of annoyance. Thus this also played a part of me disregarding any sort of formal exit. Another reason would be the fact that I did not want to say “bye” and risk having her not say anything back. If this was going to be the last act or last time seeing her, I wasn’t going to let her be the one to ignore me. Yes it is being passive aggressive. I realize that but people do react passively aggressive at times. The conversation did not flow fluidly either which if it had, it would have left me feeling more on a positive note, so ending the somewhat awkward conversation, saying “bye” seemed to me to be a bit of a “suck up” response. This coupled with all the previous three reasons, I subconsciously felt that saying “bye” just wasn’t going to happen. 

Well this story is an example of a seemingly trivial event while in reality, it had an effect on me, my thoughts, and my feelings after leaving Subway. This experience is also the reason why I did not want to go to Subway today after playing basketball. I imagined the likely scenario that would have played out had she been there again and I did not want to deal with that. These on-the-surface and seemingly trivial events that in actuality elicit and harbor strong emotions happen relatively frequently. It’s always situations like this that is on my mind for a while; yet, when some time has passed (maybe a couple days or so) and it comes to meeting with a friend and they ask, “how’s it going?”, I can’t seem to remember these events and my thoughts and feelings. Of course one may say, “well, that’s just means that the event wasn’t worth mentioning if you don’t recall it when your friend asks ‘how you doing’”, but it’s everyday things that happen that reveals our more inner thoughts, personal feelings, and similar memories. Unless something very significant happens- like winning the lottery- anything else is not worth mentioning and connecting on? I don’t think so.          

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Thoughts of the Day: Saturday; September 1, 2012


(Typing this after playing tennis with Anup, Varun, my brother, Gokul, and Shashank- Labor Day weekend) 

At night every day, write down thoughts that you feel are worthy of mentioning. This is a way to keep track of what’s been on your mind lately. Intimacy is simple. It’s how much you reveal of your inner more personal thoughts and feelings to others. There are friends of all kinds. Some of which we are closer to than others. Those closer to us have more similar values, thoughts, and feelings. I really care about intimacy in relationships. Friends that I play basketball with but some of whom I feel a certain amount of struggle to create more depth in the conversations and ultimately the relationship.

One thing I have noticed of my friend whom I am close with is that in regards to the question, “how have you been?”, his response is never just, “fine” or “okay”. He close to always gives a response that is unique in comparison to the standard “oh I’m doing alright” response. His response always reveals how he has been feeling and thinking lately. Just yesterday I met up with him and asked him, “how have you been?” and he responded with a minimum of, “surprisingly bored”. I don’t believe he plans his responses and I feel he is very honest in the fact that he will tell you what he has been thinking and feeling lately on a more personal level. I’ve always admired his choice and ability to reveal himself on a personal level. I’ve been stumped in situations where I’d respond with the standard lie, “oh I’m doing alright”. This response reveals nothing about what you’ve been thinking and feeling lately. I know for myself, when asked the question of, “how have you been?”, my mind cannot remember the more personal thoughts that I am preoccupied with when alone and feelings that I experience when alone. I’ve dreamed of having a machine that automatically writes down all the thoughts I have as I have them. This way I can pull up what I’ve been thinking lately and analyze and understand the content and go through the logic and my train of thought as well. This is something I need to work on if I want to develop more intimacy in relationships. Well here’s my list for tonight then:

-          I admire the fact that my friend can reveal and connect with people on a more personal level than the relationships that most friends who hang out in big groups do.
-          I want to get better at revealing my inner more personal thoughts and feeling comfortably because I fear not being able to experience relationships like this one anymore
-          Take advantage of the question, “how are you” and “how have you been?” Really answer these questions honestly. Do not just give the standard lie. Instead of saying, “alright” say, “I feel more comfortable and used to using and filling up the free time I have out of class at USF. Before school started I worried what I would be doing with my time. I may not have been using my time very productively but I’m not just sitting around bored out of my mind either…” This would be a much better response as it is honest, revealing, and helpful for the conversation as it helps the listener get a better idea of my thoughts and emotions and be able to connect with them better. 
-          Keep track and jot down your thoughts that you find of importance to be more in touch with what you have been thinking and feeling lately. Potential antidote since I commonly  forget what I’ve been thinking and feeling when asked this question and initially engaged in social situations (more often than not, my inner thoughts and feelings I have when I am alone begin to resurface to my consciousness and awareness after some time conversing in a social situation).

Done typing at Sunday; September 2, 2012; 12:54 AM