Saturday, February 28, 2015

Kobe Bryant's Muse: My Reaction to An Inspiring Look Into The Man, The Legend, The Human

Kobe Bryant's Muse
I just finished watching Kobe Bryant's new documentary. This man is such an inspiration. His vulnerability on camera exposing his inner thoughts and feelings through his journey in life almost made me tear up. I love this man's tenacity, his hunger, his drive. And after watching it lying in bed, I feel compelled to get my thoughts out. You know, this is the second time my brother has not been here in my apartment. Earlier I was feeling abandoned to be perfectly honest. I was feeling like he had left me for this girl. I know it's probably common place for people my age to be in relationships honestly but I am different. There’s a part of me that yearns to be different from others. And after watching Muse and getting insight on Kobe's life, I feel like I can use these times alone in an efficient manner. My main concern is using my time wisely, effectively, efficiently. I cant stand myself wasting my time away, especially when I feel like I'm not having a relationship myself. I feel like if I'm missing out on something that's supposed to be what I'm doing in my early 20's, I need to make this time I spend by myself, WORTH IT. It MUST PAY OFF. I literally get a feeling of depression in me when I'm doing something that will yield me absolutely nothing in return. This feeling is heightened especially during the last two times my brother went to go stay at this girl's house. About that, there's a part of me that is worried that we may be heading down separate paths. I don't want that. I hope that we share the same life path. But decisions you make everyday are directly impacting your life tomorrow and in the future. I have taken up this dream that Erin Pavlina has told me about. The dream of being part of something that is so much bigger than myself. I burn for that. Really. I burn for that just like Kobe burned for recognition of being the greatest basketball player. He still is burning for that. That's the thing I believe I do have in common with Kobe. I believe I am special. I believe I am here on this Earth to do GREAT things. But right now I feel lost at times, wondering what I should be doing with my time, why opportunities are not coming my way. But that's the beauty of watching these biographical documentaries. Kobe was not getting opportunities early on in his career either, but that certainly wasnt the end of him. I have to believe the same for me. I yearn to be part of something so much greater than myself. I want to burn, to sacrifice, to toil, sweat, bleed for something as well. Kobe bleeds for basketball. What is my basketball? My basketball is the prophecy Erin informed me about, the journey that I'm after. But I want that feeling NOW. I fear this momentary motivation I'm spewing here is just that, momentary.

I can see myself in Kobe's place. Sitting in front of that camera, imparting the wisdom and knowledge that I've come to gain. In time perhaps. I do feel like I may have too many goals and targets if you will. Sigh. I want to be special. I want to be recognized for something much greater than myself. I want to inspire others with my perseverance and dedication. I want a life that's WORTH the pain, the lonely hours, worth the sleepless moments, the suffering. I want IT.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Is Life Supposed to be this Dull?

I'm not doing enough with my life, even as I try to get my life going.

I watched the documentary, "Decoding Deepak" yesterday. There was a quote that struck me that I knew I had to write down the moment I heard it. It goes:
"The truth that, my dad may have been able to mesmerize millions, but his teachings could not save some of those closest to us. Eventually, there comes a point we have to ask of, “How much of what we discover, what we teach, what we reflect on and document through the years – How much of it makes a difference?”

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Quote of the Day

"Harder still it has proved to rule the dragon Money… A whole generation adopted false principles, and went to their graves in the belief they were enriching the country they were impoverishing."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

From Tom Shadyac's brilliant documentary, "I Am"

"I Am" a Brilliant Masterpiece by Tom Shadyac Regarding The Shift in Consciousness

I cannot express my praise adequately for Tom Shadyac, for the work that he's done throughout his own personal journey to become an individual with the core values of empathy, compassion, and unconditional love, as well as the effort in making his documentary, “I Am”. Tom's documentary has thrown more fuel onto the fire of desire to make a greater difference for others. It's a documentary about the bevy of problems our societies face, it's about why we have the problems that we do, it's about how science may actually be merging with the teachings of spiritual teachers, and most importantly, it strikes a heart-felt message that we all make a difference in each other, regardless if we are open to understanding the message and power of kindness, compassion, and unconditional love.  

Watch "I Am" here:

Listen to the similarities Gregg Braden talks about here:

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Documentation of Goals: To Be Updated Today (February 10th, 2015)

Current Goal:

I only have one real goal now. It is to develop myself into a compassionate, loving person and to help others and make differences in positive, memorable, and inspiring ways. First and foremost, to work and develop myself to being a kind, compassionate, and loving human being. This means doing what I read in The Art of Happiness with the Dalai Lama: To cultivate genuine happiness by deliberately selecting and focusing on positive mental states and challenging and replacing negative mental states (Work on cultivating spiritual emotions such as compassion, kindness, altruism, gratitude and replace negative emotions including anger, jealousy, fear, etc). By developing myself into a compassionate, loving person I will make a simple, yet huge difference in the lives of people I meet everyday. People will remember how they were treated, above all else. And then from whatever work I end up doing, I want it to make a memorable and positive difference in others' lives.

Ways in Which I Want to Make a Difference in:
-          Being a compassionate nurse
-          Being a Dolores Cannon QHHT practitioner, CORe (Cellular and Organ Regeneration), Erin Pavlina's Intuitive Abilities & Astral Projection class, Julia Cannon's Reconnective Healing/LightcastingOther healing modalities 
-          Use Brian Kim’s entrepreneurship subscription ideas to help contribute
-          To develop myself into a compassionate, loving person and affect people’s happiness in small, yet powerful ways
-          To educate myself daily by reading and exploring one focused topic/area per month, that opens and broadens my perspective and makes the world a better place

a.       Become a Vegan to help the environment, promote better health, and take a stand against animal cruelty 

6. To live a minimalist's lifestyle with focus purely on personal growth (self-improvement, playing, having new experiences); contribution/helping others/making a positive, memorable difference in the lives of others; and close, meaningful relationships, the three things that result in true happiness.

<-- In regards to this goal which I have listed before, I believe that by becoming a compassionate, loving person, I will certainly improve myself. It certainly will make a positive difference on others, and I don't see why or how it won't result in having close relationships with other people. Those three are really all a given by becoming a good-hearted person who is looking to help others. Playing is only truly fun with others in the long run, and having new experiences like travelling and going on adventures, will come with time as long as you make it a top priority. These are the things I want to really focus on in life. Really being able to live a lifestyle developing these aspects is my dream.

What my past goals have looked like and how they have altered:

The Things That Interest Me

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

After Analysis of How My Time is Spent - Note to Self

Things to accomplish each week (3 Pillars):
Personal Growth- self improvement, playing, having new experiences
  1. skiing
  2. climbing
  3. spreading unconditional love to others through small, positive interactions
  4. reading and learning new interesting things
  5. working out
Contribution & making a positive, memorable difference in the lives of others:

  1. nursing
  2. casper humane society
  3. CWRM
  4. QHHT

Don't feel the need to schedule out every part of your time and life. Its best and most practical to have a general list and idea of what you want to focus on and when you have time off, focus on the one on the list that speaks most to you at that time. Your emotions will guide you. Trust in your guides, focus on visualizing the results that you want which will give you that burning desire, and take the next most appropriate step. Conclusion: know generally waht you want to focus on, cultivate a burning desire for it, take the next most obvious step, when you are not working.