In regards to my last post, I am willing to consider one last attempt. My last attempt is to set out a definitive to-do list everyday that will, in theory, allow me to make progress in nursing and this new-age science that I am finding in the coincidental year of 2012. There is really a strong desire and almost obsessive need in the back of my mind to learn this unconventional science. I need to use my time effectively. I need to put nursing related work as top priority but with the free time I have, I should take advantage of it rather than just sit there on my bed or couch and relax. Relaxing for a bit is alright, but relaxing can be detrimental to our productivity, motivation, and focus in a hurry.
It's a rather powerful concept that I experienced again today, not for the first time but not commonly experienced either. It's the concept of sexual transmutation from Napoleon Hill. Today I was sitting on the bus with my brother sitting on the other side of the bus due to lack of sitting places. About half way through the ride, this attractive nursing student came onto the bus as well and sat next to my brother on the other side. In all honesty, I was glad she wasn't sitting next to me because I, most likely, would have felt the need to keep the conversation going as a result of anxiety. The position my brother was sitting blocked my view of her as well so in a way, I was glad because by not being able to see her, it took my mind off the anxiety I would be experiencing had there been an open seat next to me and she chosen that spot. My brother continued the conversation well in comparison to how I imagine I might have "performed". Again, this reminds me of the notion that many times, guys will feel the need to perform when around an attractive woman, rather than just being themselves as if they were around a close friend or family member, but I digress. To be honest, there was definitely a part of me where I felt the need to start a conversation with the person next to me, who just by chance had a small dog in their lap, and just took the place of another person, a woman, who exited the bus. This woman boarded the bus with an adorable black and brown Great Dane that had a characteristic, that I best described to my brother later, in a Chinese term and that term would be, Sai Nai. An English translation of Sai Nai, would be best described as, being unnecessarily cute and adorable. The Great Dane, in a standing position on the bus, placed his head on my YMCA bag, which was on my lap, for several seconds and smiling, I decided to softly stroke his nose a couple times as this dog reminded me of a time when Lucky would do the same thing. But, yes, I consciously caught this subconscious need and thought to get some of this attractive girl's attention. I realized this and remembered something I learned from David Wygant, and that was to have an abundance mindset and especially since it was my brother who was conversing with her, I consciously decided and felt that I was going to be more than okay with it. I would not try and interject their conversation for my primal urge to compete. After saying bye and getting off the bus, we headed back up to our apartment and as I took off my nicer clothes, I felt the desire to get back into cutting regiment to lose the fat that covered my muscles. I am not in a bulking or cutting stage as of now and have been in this slight regression stage of limbo for some time now. This limbo stage of eating little when I am here in San Francisco and eating whatever I want back home in San Jose has resulted in losing muscle and losing some fat as well, earlier on. But now, my brother and I have been into this stage and eating habit ever since a few weeks into our Junior One semester. It's been about three months of this eating habit, give or take a few weeks. This is not the same as this past summer where we were both doing the Zig-Zag Diet the right way and saw good progress. As I type this, I remember a friend of mine here at USF telling me that I definitely look skinnier than last semester, as we were in the same clinical group last semester as Sophomore Two's. I gladly told him that I lost around 30 pounds this summer. I was not fat. I was bulking and was at my strongest ever! My most ever for deadlift was four 45 pound plates each side attached to a 45 pound barbell and doing a solid seven or eight reps the first set and five or six reps the second set. In terms of bench press and squats, I was also at my peak strength ever. Squats, I remember, doing three plates of 45's along with a 25 lbs. each side and doing a solid six through eight reps for two heavy sets. Bench, my numbers weren't as impressive when compared to how much I had progressed for deadlift and squats since freshman year of college, but I was still benching with two 45's each side plus a couple tens each side for six through eight reps for two heavy sets. Now, I am nowhere deadlifting or squatting as much but still relatively impressive for the average individual. I am good in terms of "cut-ness" but not great. After seeing my brother converse with this attractive nursing classmate, I walked into the bathroom, looked at my abs, and felt the need for wanting them to be more cut again. I have not had this desire to be cutter for weeks- ever since David and I started this irregular eating style of eating very little to nothing at SF and eating whatever we desire back home. My dad is coming back from Taiwan soon as well so perhaps this is finally the time for David and I to get back into the proper and right way to do the Zig-Zag diet and get even cutter. P.S. After writing the part below what you see here in regards to the conversations tab that I am proud of, I am remembered of the fact that, over the course of it's very inception of Sophomore year in high school all the way to now, I am beginning to see more signals of girls liking me. They are signals such as prolonged eye contact when I am talking, slight touches, overt body positioning from one, continuing the conversation when it could have easily died out, laughs, and eye contact that I catch them looking. Again, I want to be clear that this doesn't happen 24/7 or even once a week or even biweekly. But over the years, along with studying works from dating gurus, I have begun to gradually see for myself the subtle and a few times, overt signals that women have been giving me. Just today, at the Salvation Army, the Meals that Heal program, there is this cute Indonesian girl who has been giving me prolonged eye contact and smile as she walks by me. Why haven't I acted on these signals? Well there are many reasons. One is the fact that I know that I am not as confident as I may portray myself to be. Yes I feel like I have a nice body and a good, amicable personality, have a sense of optimism for my future, I know what I really want in life, and not to sound cocky, but I feel I am developing into a person many girls will desire for, especially when I become a nurse with one and a half / two years of experience, make good money, and can go pursue my other ambitions and hobbies responsibly. Hhmm, it's just an interesting note I wanted to make. I love this feeling right now. That feeling when the logical and profound thoughts just come to you easily, when the words you type just come out right, and your typing is smooth and flawless. I'm in that zone right now and am loving that feeling.
After taking a nap and after finishing my Individual Critique Paper, I went to go do my Conversations tab for clinical. After finishing my response to the question and a classmate's response, I felt proud of the work I had submitted to the conversations tab. I want to post it here. The part I actually feel of is my response to David's post. In all fairness, it was not so much directed at my brother's response directly but more to the general, overall tone of my the rest of my clinical classmates' posts.
Assignment:
11/15 Conversations on Infectious Disease in our community:
Post a conversation about one of the communicable diseases
that can affect your clients in the community (TB, HPV, HIV, Hepatitis, Flu,
whooping cough, etc). What is Notifiable
Infectious Disease and why is this important?
What is herd immunity? What are
some of the fears around immunizations that clients may have and how can we
provide education to alleviate such fears and increase understanding of
importance of immunizations? Reply to
another students post.
My response to the question:
"A notifiable infectious disease is any infectious disease
that is required to be reported to the government by law. This is necessary to
keep track of the prevalence of diseases nationally and globally. The Centers
for Disease Control and Prevention is in charge as health officials report to
the CDC’s National Notifiable Diseases Surveillance System (NNDSS). Some more
well known diseases that are on the list are anthrax, West Nile virus, Cholera,
Dengue fever, Gonorrhea, Leprosy, Hantavirus, Hepatitis, HIV, pertussis, malaria, tuberculosis, and
yellow fever. Herd immunity is a form of immunity manifests when a significant
portion of a population has received the vaccination and thus making it
difficult for a disease to proliferate because so little people are left
susceptible to the disease. This idea of herd immunity is often sufficient to
persuade parents who are reluctant to get their children vaccinated. Focusing
on the fact that vaccines will help stop the spread of diseases in the
community as a whole instead of just one individual can help convince ameliorate
those with worries."
David’s response to the question:
"HIV is certainly one of the many communicable diseases that
affects the Tenderloin. Many of the people there are homeless people, and their
primary concern is trying to survive. These other commodities to help improve
their life status are not their primary concerns. And while they may be poor
and have no place to go, that does mean they don't share the same thoughts,
concerns, and feelings as everyone else. They still have sexual desires, and
condoms definitely are not be guaranteed avenues of protection. Notifiable
Infectious Diseases are diseases that must be reported to Local Authority
Proper Officers under the Health Protection Regulations 2010. Herd immunity
describes a type of immunity that occurs when the vaccination of a portion of
the population provides protection to unprotected individuals. I believe most
fears of immunizations stem from ignorance. They may not understand how it
works, or perhaps, they just fear getting shots. Increased knowledge and
experience would help alleviate such fears."
Response from another student who shall remain nameless:
"The most common communicable disease that could affect my clinical site would be the flu. Not everyone has remembered the shot this year, and the fact that you have to get a new one each decreases the likeliness that a client would get one. Although flu is not deadly, if you are immunocomprimised (which elderly can be) it can be a serious illness. My clinical site does offer flu shots from the nurse practitioner though, which is a great way for clients to get access to the shots.
A Notifiable infectious disease is any disease that must be reported to the government so they can monitor it and give appropriate warnings to the public. These include things like, botulism anthrax, cholera, SARS, tuberculosis and many more. The World Health Organization is an organization who monitors and collects current data on infectious diseases. Its important to keep track of these diseases so that we don't have a world wide dangerous epidemic that could kill millions. Constant monitoring will ensure adequate warnings to the public.
In regards to people's fears about immunizations, I think they are hugely misguided and misinformed. It is not smart not to get your child vaccinated, people's fears that it will cause some kind of mental retardation or disease in their child is misinformation. Not that it isn't impossible, but one must weight the risks and benefits with the right information. Without a vaccine, the chance of getting a disease increases and especially with a disease like chicken pox the later you get the disease the worse the symptoms are. Education on vaccines especially at the child-level is important."
Here's the part I am proud of:
My response to the overall tone of the group:
"
I absolutely agree with your statement that we need increased
knowledge to alleviate such fears but maybe we should be the ones to educate
ourselves first of the realities of both the positive and negatives of vaccines.
There are people who fear receiving immunizations because they are worried
about unknown substances in vaccines that can have other detrimental effects. According
to naturalnews.com, “In the United States each year, anywhere from an estimated
3,900 to 7,800 infants are poisoned to death, as a direct result, of being
vaccinated”.
http://www.naturalnews.com/022400.html
“Not only do vaccines not work, they actually cause
diseases. According to the same US government Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting
System, there were approximately 1400 serious events from vaccinations for
people of all ages, per year, from 1991-1996. Serious events include: permanent
disability, hospitalization, and life threatening illnesses. And we can know
for sure, due to the low reporting of serious vaccine events, that the actual
number of diseases caused by vaccinations is 10 - 100 times this number,
meaning vaccines cause 14,000 - 140,000 serious events (diseases) per year. In
some cases, such as with the Hepatitis B vaccine given to infants and children,
the vaccine causes more harm and injury that the disease of Hepatitis B in
infants and children.
Published studies from reputable journals have linked
vaccines to causing AIDS, autism, cancer, diabetes, hearing/vision loss,
hepatitis B, mumps, measles, polio and rubella.”
Should we as nurses condemn these websites and say that these
people are crazy? The fact is, I strongly believe that much of the knowledge we
are being taught in nursing school is very much subject to change as we
progress into the future and as scientists find more and more information in
regards to the medical field. I think as nurses, we should not just go with the
flow of what we are taught and realize that our knowledge of the human body is
constantly changing in much the same way our medical knowledge 100 years ago
was nowhere as advanced as where we are today. Much of what we have previously
believed has turned out to be incorrect. We should not assume that just because,
in comparison, that we are advanced technologically and scientifically, that
our knowledge is the pinnacle of truth. Skepticism of vaccines and many
medications with dangerous side effects should be doubted and not taken as an
absolute fact to what we nurses learn in school. I am not talking about blind
disbelief but to take into account of recent research that is not so mainstream
yet that shows otherwise. That is the only way we can take into account all
sides of the issue. Should vaccines really be contributing to these other
diseases and immune-compromised disorders, we should stay away from them. Drugs
and vaccines are products of such huge corporations that exist because of
profit! Many large, powerful corporations will, at the expense of a minority,
continue to propagate their products for profit. As immoral as that may seem,
it is an unfortunate truth. An example of this sad truth can be seen here:
“According to The Washington Post, attorneys working on a
class-action lawsuit against Toyota claim that the company has known about
issues of unintended acceleration in its vehicles since as early as 2003. The
lawyers have reportedly discovered a field report written seven years ago by a
technician that outlined an instance of unintended acceleration. The report
allegedly called for immediate action due to how dangerous the problem could
become and expressed concern about the potential frequency of the issue.
Earlier this year,
the federal government hit Toyota with a $16.4 million fine for failing to
recall vehicles afflicted by unintended acceleration quickly enough. At the
time, it was believed that Toyota had known about the issue for about a month
prior to alerting regulators – well beyond the single week that the law gives
automakers to notify the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration
of potential problems.”
People have their right to be skeptical and as people who
will be taking care of the health of others, we need to be aware of both sides
of the argument for and against vaccines and allow the individuals to make their
own informed decision. We should not promote one over the other unless these
claims of causing other serious health issues be scientifically ruled out. "
