Tuesday, June 25, 2013


For some time now- it's hard to put an exact number- I've been growing more and more tired of working out. Lifting weights to be specific. I've been working out since the summer after junior year of high school, which makes it about four years. I have been working out every week save anywhere around probably from 4-10 sessions per year where I missed or skipped my workout sessions. As a result, I am a strong dude. I am no longer near my strongest point ever, which was during my sophomore year in college, where I was deadlifting four 45's each side with a 45 lbs. barbell, hitting 6-8 reps and training to failure. That's 405 lbs. I was squatting near 360 lbs. and hitting anywhere between 6-8 reps, and benching (my weakest when taking into account of the amount of work I had put in) around 265 lbs between 6-8 reps. I have been thinking about logging my journal records into my blog here to keep as documentation; my binder is falling apart and it would be a real shame to lose that info forever. As I said, I am no where near lifting that heavy nowadays, but still impressive.

But as I started this post out, I've been thinking about slendering down and I do not mean by going on a cutting phase. There are many reasons. One of the main reasons is that I know for my future hobbies that I want to pursue, like mountain climbing, I will need to focus more on endurance rather than muscle bulk.

I've actually been thinking about slimming down a lot. Pros and Cons to both sides obviously, reasons which I'll talk about. Been thinking about going vegetarian in fact, maybe even vegan. Shall see about that.


National Geographic Live! - The Call of Everest

Do I dare someday? Pity that it's so crowded. It is what it is though. Still an Adventure to say the least!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Love My Quiet, Alone Time in a Home, Close-to-Nature Environment

Nice feeling of being home alone. Quiet. No disturbance of thoughts. Really be able to tune into my thoughts, my objectives, write, read, for my blog. At that time I realized that if I closed my blog, there very well may be a time in the future where I would regret it. Just because I don’t have the true quiet and alone time in an environment that befits me, and it has caused me to fall behind and feel inundated by the work I wanted to put in, this does not mean I won’t in the future. That feeling, being able to really tune into my thoughts and goals is a terrific feeling. I really want and like that quiet alone time. The house entirely to myself, quiet environment, good quality safe environment and neighborhood, I can really tune into myself and work on myself. Of course too much alone time can result in feeling lonely, but I really love and need that alone, quiet, home-feeling, and close-to-nature environment.   

My brother is home with me right now. Wished it was just myself. Uuuuhhh, not living in tune to my values, desires, goals, and priorities can really be hell. I just thought of something special yesterday. A horrible feeling to experience is to be living a B level life, a life that is not terrible to the point of "living in the gutters" to the point where you cannot stand another second of living that kind of life, yet, it's not a life where you are truly satisfied with yourself. In a C level life, you cannot stand it anymore and you have the burning desire to overcome and work like it's not work, but at least you are making progress. In that sense, living a mediocre life can truly be hell. I don't know if I should categorize myself as a level B life. I feel I may be C level but I just have too many damn distractions in my life. I kind of hate to say it but family members can be a distraction. Especially if you do not have a room truly to yourself, it's non-stop people either talking, walking around next to you, making noise even by not talking, or having external stimuli such as the television blaring. I remember when I first started waking early, my family members would sleep late so I would have a good 7 or 8 hours before it got "busy" or disruptive to the point where I could not focus and tune into myself. I remember my sister, who is more of a natural early-bird, waking around 7:30, and when that time came in the morning, I always hated it because I knew she would start making noise and it would distract me from what I was doing, had set out to do, and just interrupted my nice, quiet, alone time to dedicate to myself. I guess it's one of the reasons why since summer actually started, I've been out of my waking early routine. For one, I can't have my alarm help me wake up in the early morning because my family members can all hear my alarm going off at 4:22 in the morning. It would definitely help me wake up and get motivated if I could listen to my alarm song: Love & Loss by Two Steps From Hell. Anyways, on non-class days, I wake around 8 AM, which is not terribly late but still feel disappointed at myself. But since I started waking early, my brother started waking up around 8, which cut down the amount of time I had to myself, which made me kind of really hate that other people were getting up earlier. God I loved to just be able to work on myself for 7-8 hours before others really got up and could distract me. Goddamn I hate feeling like I'm not in control of my environment and my life. I hate it! Especially when I do have desire to work on myself, but through these distractions, I've been making excuses for myself! I hate this feeling! I need to have that feeling of control over my life and what it is I want and need to do that day without feeling interrupted, disrupted, and distracted!    

I seriously believe that if I lived in my home by myself, I would be making a whole lot more progressive progress every day than I am right now! Shit I know that can sound like an excuse but damn it, it does not seem that way to me.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Bruce Lipton's "Angelina Jolie - The Biology of Belief" Video

I have seen a couple very interesting NEW videos from Dr. Bruce Lipton recently:

Angelina Jolie - The Biology of Belief


Published on Jun 11, 2013 by Bruce Lipton

Independent sources relating to what Bruce Lipton is talking about:


The Illusion of Time with Dr. Bruce H. Lipton


Published on Jun 13, 2013 by Bruce Lipton

"10 Reasons to Keep a Journal" Article


The thought of why people keep journals came to my mind today. I like this article. Not my work. Credit goes to website's author:

“Writing, expressing can heal us. It can focus, support, and enhance our lives and well-being. Whether we laugh or we cry, whether through sorrow or joy, we can understand more about ourselves, and each other, through keeping a journal, diary, or diaries.”

- Doreene Clement

Everyone has a story. Your experiences, your feelings, ideas, thoughts, and dreams all combine to form your life and your journey, which is your story. And a great way to keep a relative reflection of all those things that have happened in your life is to keep a journal or diary. A daily journal, a weekly journal, a month end summary journal, any or all these are ways you can keep track and record your experiences, your story.

Usually people resist keeping a journal because they think they aren’t good enough writers, that someone will read their innermost thoughts or that they have much more important things to do.

But instead of thinking of a journal as a diary – a book in which you merely relate the day’s events – think of it as a container for self reflection, self-expression and self exploration. Retelling the day’s events is less relevant than the act of expressing your thoughts. And writing down reflections about events experienced each day is an invaluable way to evaluate your performance, set higher standards of excellence and find new ways to solve difficult problems.

There’s nothing like putting pen to paper to instill you with a sense of optimism, anticipation and excitement about your goals or aspirations. The act of writing something down always makes it more real, more concrete than merely thinking it. When you commit to writing down your thoughts and experiences, you have put them into a solid form.

So, here are the benefits of keeping a journal:

1. Improve your health.

Researchers like James W. Pennebaker, M.D., professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, and Joshua M. Smyth, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at North Dakota State University, are proving what journal writers have always known, journaling is good not only for the soul, but for the body as well. The first studies, examined healthy people and journaling. Researchers have found that people who write about their deepest thoughts and feelings surrounding upsetting events have stronger immunity and visit their doctors half as often.

More recently, exciting and innovative research appeared in the April 14th issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association. The research, conducted by Joshua M. Smyth at the State University of New York at Stoneybrook, showed that writing about a stressful experience reduces physical symptoms in patients with chronic illnesses. The team monitored 112 patients with arthritis or asthma. The subjects were asked to write in a journal for 20 minutes three days in a row about either an emotionally stressful incident or their plans for the day. Of the group who expressed their anxiety on paper, 50% showed a large improvement in their disease after four months.

2. Reduce stress.

“When Michael, came home from Vietnam, he couldn’t talk about his experiences. For years, he kept his feelings and thoughts clenched in his heart like a fist. Then he started writing. At first, the words poured out in great waves of tears onto the pages of his journal. Over time, he began to notice how each sentence, and each page, brought greater release and distance from the pain he had borne in silence for so many years. Vietnam began to lose its power and stranglehold on him and his life. ”

Journaling has a proven benefit of reducing stress. Once you’ve journaled, you don’t carry as much of what you have written about within you. It is on the paper or in the computer. By journaling, you give yourself a powerful form of self-expression, and through that expression you can gain clarity, release, and relief. You will feel calmer and spiritually at ease after a journal-writing session.

3. Stronger relationships.

Writing about people you know will help you understand them better and put you in touch with your own feelings about them. Also be sure to give the benefits of journaling to your friends. They are great gifts.

4. Better organizational skills.

By structuring yourself to write regularly, you automatically develop stronger organization skills, such as list making and time management. Also journaling your goals and what you want to accomplish in your life, is an excellent tool to help you get those things done. You can even create a personal checklist of “things to do.”

Through journaling you can actually see and better understand what you want, what is important to you, and how you feel. And after organizing your thoughts you can create goals and resolutions to support what you are thinking and writing about.

5. Better focus.

While writing in a journal you create more awareness, and therefore more focus on the issues that are important to you. The routine and habit of journaling means making time for you. And when you set aside time for yourself, you can feel the benefit and gain from doing something specifically for yourself.

When you’re beset with a mind full of fuzzy, disconnected thoughts flitting here and there, writing about the event or issue will help bring focus and clarity. It will also help you decide on which action to take, or option to choose.

6. Better solutions for your problems.

Writing about problems gives your right brain food for creative problem solving. It’s amazing what happens when the creative part of your nature starts working on a problem – you’ll soon find solutions bubbling up from your subconscious mind.

7. Know yourself better.

Writing can help clarify your thoughts, your emotions, and your reactions to certain people or situations. In addition, as you read back through past journals, you’ll have ample evidence of the things that make you happy and those that are distressful.

Journaling is a great tool for self-discovery that will help you build self confidence and self knowledge. While writing in your journal you will find yourself identifying the values for which you stand. You will also get to know your processes – how you think, learn, create and use intuition.

8. Personal growth.

Journaling is a vehicle for expressing and creating. It will improve your congruency and integrity and will move you towards wholeness and growth – to who you really are.

9. Enhances intuition and creativity.

While writing in the pages of your journal you will find your inner voice awakening. Journaling will help you in the interpretation of your symbols and dreams, and will increase your memory of events.

10. Captures “Life’s Story.”

A journal is a catalog of your memories. Over time, your memories become an irreplaceable treasure that can be looked at years from now, by you, or, if you wish, by others.

By journaling you will capture not only your life, but the lives of all the people that surrounds you. You are also creating a record, and with that record in hand it is easier to see patterns, changes, and shifts in your life.

So, now you decided to start keeping a journal? James Pennebaker, the author of Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions, has some first-timer diary keeper’s tips for you:

Find a time and place to write where you won’t be disturbed. Ideally, pick a time at the end of your work day or before you go to bed.

Promise yourself that you will write for a minimum of 15 minutes a day at least hree or four consecutive days.

Once you begin writing, write continuously. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar.

Don’t censor what you write. Write just for yourself

By the way if you are faced with ‘blank page syndrome’ and don’t know where to start, try writing about:

Something that you are thinking or worrying about too much
Something that you have dreamed recently
Something that you have been avoiding
The best thing that happened today

And remember, journal writing has the lowest risk factor imaginable, mentally as well as financially, providing you with the gentlest and safest of therapies. No expertise required, no minimum time required, and you don’t lose the benefits if you miss a time period.

Start Writing Your Journal!"

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Updated List of Daily Things To Do To Work Towards My Current Goals

What do I need to do every day (independent of assignments specific for that week) that will distinguish myself and make me a better nurse than those around me?

1. Set up time to go over Professor Debourgh’s notes. Answer any questions you may have through textbook or via internet. Solidify the knowledge; don’t let it just slip away and have to re-pick up all over again due to not touching it for a long time! (Then go over old notes such as Cooper’s Notes from Sophomore II)
2. Go through textbook chapters of class subjects and topics
3. Invest time everyday to study Saunders Comprehensive Review for the NCLEX-RN® Examination, 5e by Linda Anne Silvestri (Author) and Medical-Surgical Nursing Made Incredibly Easy! by Lippincott Williams & Wilkins (Author)
(My classmate said that this book is better than our professor’s notes because it gives you exactly the information that you need to know, will remember throughout your nursing career, and doesn’t bombard you with excessive details of pathophysiology like our textbook does)
(2 hours everyday for numbers 1, 2, and 3)
**Should I make it 2 hours a day for more realistic purposes time-wise?
4. Learn and review EKG strip interpretations: EKG’s Made Easy along with prior Professor’s notes
(1 hour everyday)  
5. Go over fundamentals! Meaning study Jarvis book to improve your assessment skills! (ex: Lung Sounds; Abnormal Heart Sounds; percussion, what to look for EXACTLY and understand what is EXACTLY going on with the patient)
(30 min. per day)
6. Invest time to run over the steps of performing Skills in your head. (Ex: Trach. Suctioning, catheter insertion, wound dressing change, etc.) Clarify any questions! 
(30 min. per day)

-          Set up time to review CPR
***Write out nursing goal to-do list in a place where you will easily see it every day. 

For EMT Class:
1.      Practice EMT skills and assessments until solidified (1 hour qday)
2.      Go over class notes
3.      Read textbook sections most related to the most important parts in Miller’s powerpoints; skim over the rest. (For numbers 2 and 3, 1 hour qday)   

Question now is, how much time do I give to each list?
How much studying time does all this entail? 6 hours total everyday without taking into account breaks
How much time do I have in a day with and without EMT class? If I wake at 4:22 AM, and go to sleep at 10:00 PM, that gives me around 17 hours and 30 min. of time awake. For days that I have EMT class, from time it takes to get ready and drive over, go to class, and drive back, that is about 8 hours total. 8 plus 7 is 15 hours used up for EMT class and the time I have allotted to commit to working towards. That leaves me about 3.5 hours of time used for eating, resting/breaks, and other endeavors. On days without EMT class, it is not as much of a problem to pursue other endeavors such as typing Lucky’s story and writing about spirituality and the science behind it.

**after my rant yesterday about ending this blog, how much time do I want to spend typing and writing every day? On either Lucky’s story then on tim oshea, BL, GMO’s dangers, make-up carcinogens, cut poison burn, science of spirituality websites,…

(1 hour 30 min. initially, then just 1 hour qday)

How much time should I spend reading books qday? This is one of the problems I typed up about yesterday, I am not putting in time to write which could take up time for reading these books of interest that I have, but at the same time I want to do both.

(start reading when you’ve finished other stuff you want to write about otherwise when you read, you WILL have ADDED stuff you will want to write about!
1 hour)  

So this adds up to pretty much 8 hours of work a day give and take a bit. This includes no break times. This takes into account of my goal of being a difference making nurse, goal of waking early and being productive with my time, goal of writing about life’s wisdom with the MIT posts in the morning, and my goal of writing about spirituality. Which all of these are my goals I am pursuing right now, not in the near future.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Today's Dr. Phil Show Struck a Cord With Me

Daughter Accused of Faking Pregnancy

"(Original Air Date: 11/02/12) Eighteen-year-old Cassie says that at 16, she became pregnant, and at seven months along, had a confrontation with her father, Todd, and tragically lost the baby. Todd denies the accusation, and claims what medical records and multiple sonograms prove: Cassie was never pregnant. Why does he believe his daughter would make up such an elaborate story? After months of not speaking, Cassie comes face to face with her family, who says this isn’t the first time they’ve caught her in a web of lies. How does Cassie explain her pregnancy? Can Dr. Phil help uncover the truth?"


I Feel More and More Overwhelmed by How Much I Want to Type Up for this Blog Vs. Time Writing Put in and Desire to Do it Knowing How Much I Have to Do

Why do I feel the need to write down all somewhat significant thoughts in a documented fashion, why do I feel the need to download all these spiritual related websites and books and videos? Why do I feel the need to keep and organize all these things? I mean look at my downloaded folders stuff, I feel uncomfortable giving up on all of this. Im supposed to be living a minimalist lifestyle. Remember all I looked at in highschool? Living according to your priorities,

What can I get out of reading all these books on spirituality, say DC’s books. I want recognition of having tohers see that I have looked at all of these so I get that feeling of pride and respect from others of being this person who is full of wisdom, looking into all these things. Its real interesting to read about all these things but at the end of the dayk, im not going to memorize it, I do not know if I will be able to teach others about it to get that recognition. I can tell my friends about it but how often do I really get to talk in depth about these things to my friends? from the few friends ive got, how many will I actually feel comfortable telling about regardless if I actually know what I can talk educatedly  about what I wantto talk about? Only with anup and maybe with tanuj. And that’s it. There is so much I want to get recognition for through my writings so I get respect from people and others but I seem to have for one reason or another, im not getting it done. I guess when I want recognition I want to show others that didn’t notice me early on what ive become. But I feel like what is there to werite about with all this im reading? It’s the work of others. I feel like im in a way, taking credit and just paraphrasing what they said. Don’t know if that is plagiziring in a sense,. My main issue is that I want to be noticed, I want that attention, that love I guess. Is that all that’s going on here? How about just putting myself above the crop and distinguishing myself? This could distinguish myself. Yea but the thought came to me that if I put aside this writing that I do, I could at least use that time to read these books right? Or will that time be wasted to be squabble;ed to do st else? What will I do in my time in the future? Im not some person that wants to be around people a lot of the times, so what will I do if I give yp my writing? I can read all these books, talk about them with my friends.
If I close this blog, will I ever return to writing again? Is this something that Ill regret? Will I feel the urge to write again in the future? To want to share your life experiences with anyone who may read it? To be able to experience that feeling of nostalgia years from now? To share experiences when I go on trips? How will my self-expression manifest itself? How will I express myself?
Ahhhhh I feel overwhelmed. So many unreslving questions with no clear answeres. Im sqwyated on both sides of the questions. I have solid arguments going both ways. I hate the feeling of just leaving my blog up without being updated. I want this blog I feel is special to be perfect or in a way, not have it at all. To be rid of this feeling of burden that im experiencing.
Another way to get recognition? So I read these books, what can I write about? I don’t want to just summarize them. Im not here to write a review on the book on how good it is. I can outline it but in a way authors write and work hard and should be compensated for their work, not be bypassed b/c some person put out theier ideas and chapter poiitns online bc they wanted recognition for being a learner of all of this.
Should I video record myself talking and thinking about it? Join toastmasters to at least talk about it and lecture about these books that I read? So this way I gain recognition as well as learn this material in the strongest way known, to teach others helps retain info about 90%? What of this blog? Sigh. Stumped. I hate this feeling of being just stuck in a situation with no answer and whatever choice I make, it’s unsatisfoactory.
Writing takes up a lot of time, time I could use to read. But don’t people hate reading books only to forget and barely be able to talk about what they read? What kind of learning and investment is that? So much effort put in with such little true learning. True learning happens in the field, when you get experience. But what is the “experience” for this? Reading about say “Emerging Viruses?” I guess by talking about it is experience. It might be the best experience you can get. What are the keys that I need to come away from this conundrum satisfied? 

Key themes: what needs do I get from having this blog?
Books about detailed esoteric knowledge
Sharing it with people to demonstrate your knowledge to get recognition from others
Want recognition from the world, society
Sharing it with friends b/c I enjoy it and provides stimulating conversation topics that allow me to get intimate and build deep connections with people  
Document my life as have nostalgia when I look back on it
Allows me to mine books for information, interesting knowledge, and delve into further questions and learning experiences
Get to demonstrate my personality and who I am from having this blog

Cons of having this blog:
Somewhat loss of privacy on this blog
People that read what I post and find it somewhat intolerating may have a negative impact for me if they are involved with me work wise
Takes up a decent amount of a day’s time to a lot of time to write
Am I plagiarizing? Or paraphrasing and adding my own thoughts and opinions in?

After rambling about this, I feel better now. I don’t feel as emotional about deciding whether I should or should not close it. I feel like ill leave it up. The storm has passed again. But I know this may come back. What I do need to do for sure, is to catch up on all my writings. If I fail to catch up on my writings and constantly feel behind in my writings and just having more and more stack up, the more often and the more strong I will feel about closing this blog. I very much dislike feeling the way I did when typing this until now. It’s overwhelming. I need to decide what it is im going to write about, and get down to doing it otherwise even though I feel alright right now after ranting, it will come back very soon again unless is start working and making progress to getting on track and making changes to avoid overwhelming myself in the future.  

I remember watching an Arthur show talking about things being less fun if you had to do them. It does feel that way, especially as I know in the back of my mind that there is more and more things piling up vs. me not putting in the time to make progress towards them. But at the same time I am reminded of being young, and putting in the time to do what it takes to accomplish my goals. Always err on the side of hard work, especially when you are young, or you may very well regret it someday.

I realize that much of this is my ramblings, which explains all the spelling mistakes. It's just trying to catch up to the firestorm of thoughts that are going off in my head.

Dr. Brian Weiss Interview with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday

I just watched an interview with Dr. Brian Weiss, a renown Past Life Regressionist, on Oprah Winfrey's Super Soul Sunday. It's called: Oprah and Dr. Brian Weiss on Reincarnation, Past Lives and Miracles


Monday, June 3, 2013

Day 23 (Reviving & Recontinuing Early Riser Goal)

I am up. It's Day 23 of my early riser challenge. For about the past two and a half weeks, I have been out of this rhythm. I have set my alarm at this time and I have done my routine of waking up, turning on the bathroom light, turning off my alarm, and going to the bathroom, but not washing my face. So this way I would not be completely caught off guard for when I decided to revive this goal. I am continuing this goal of mine today because it is the first day of my EMT class which my instructor claimed that 1/3rd of the class participants in the beginning will not make it to the end. I am excited for adding more to what I know from nursing school. Quite excited to the challenge.

"We want to go from A -> B.


And when that doesn't happen, we get all antsy.

We may even fall into pits of despair.

But a lot of stuff usually needs to happen between A -> B.

Things need to be done, books need to be read, conversations need
to be had, ideas need to be thought up of, new perspectives need
to arise, etc.

And that all combines to help you get to B.

So if it isn't coming yet, no worries.

Just more stuff needs to happen in between."

- Brian Kim's MIT of June 3rd, 2013