Friday, July 20, 2012

Another Verbal Self-Defense Scenario: Playing Ball at Saratoga


Today I was playing ball at Saratoga High School's Courts with some friends. I was guarding this tall, lanky, and skinny Indian guy down low in the post. The ball knocked out of his hands and went out of bounds. This white teen with his shirt off was by our court getting a drink at the water fountain when he looked at my friend and said in a sarcastic and mocking tone of voice, "Woah man, was that a foul?!" My friend responds about a second later saying "no man, no foul" calmly although I sensed that he was a little rattled from the stranger's teasing comment. Although his response was decent, I feel my friend still got played. I feel a better response to deflect his comment would be, "ohhhh, I don't know man, maybe you can tell me" in a calm and joking manner, followed by walking away to completely cut the attack off.    

Perhaps just saying, "ohhh, I don't know man" in a calm and joking tone of voice is best as it cuts the conversation off right there. Ending in "maybe you can tell me" gives him a chance to respond and continue the attack. He may even feel compelled to answer back as he may feel he would be seen by his peers as backing off if he didn't respond to the seemingly rhetorical question. 

The key in these scenarios is to joke back respectfully and calmly and not answer his question in a serious tone of manner. Responding to his attack in a mocking tone of voice and saying, "ohhh, i don't know man !" would only entice him further and add fuel to the fire. The attacker's goal is to try and rattle you and if you can give a response that saves face for the both sides, it is the best response. 



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