Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Part Eight: The Beginning of End Days

Post First Originally Published On Tuesday, July 9th, 2013, 7:05 PM 


I remember when my Junior One semester was over and I was coming back from my apartment in SF for my 6 week winter break, I just knew as an intuition, that if something was going to happen, it was going to happen before I came back for my Junior Two semester. Either something bad would happen during break or if Lucky made it through my winter break, she would be with me for some time until the older years of a dog’s life, with the exception of just having one bad leg and being diagnosed with cancer.  

Approximately two weeks into break, on Monday, December 24th, 2012, my mom was complaining of trouble urinating. We suspected it was a Urinary Tract Infection. My brother and I drove our mom to the hospital. I remember Lucky sitting in her spot in the kitchen corner, and I gave my sister the responsibilities to give Lucky the scheduled, immune-enhancing and anti-tumor supplemental modalities we were giving Lucky according to the plan we had layed out for her from Dr. Eisen’s book. This trip to the ER room just made me feel uncomfortable about everything that had been going on. It was just another thing of all the stress I was holding up. My mom was given some medications and things were fine.

Wednesday, December 27th, 2012 was the first day of the end days as some would say, or as I believe, the beginning of preparing to send her back to The Source and everyone and everything’s true home. I refrain from the word, God, not out of disrespect by any means, but because God in many people’s eyes is personified into this all-mighty individual sitting up in his throne ready to judge you. This is not at all the case of what Dolores Cannon has found but to spare the controversy, I merely used the term, The Source, as Dolores has put it. I remember the afternoon of whichever date it was. By Thursday, the end days had begun for sure. I can still see it clearly, Lucky sitting in her corner of the kitchen that is crowded by the kitchen island (table), refusing to get up. At least it seemed that she was refusing to get up. Being in her corner, there was not enough space for me to do any real assessment. All I could do was hope she was just being lazy and did not want to get up. After time went by, and seeing her not even move to change the way she was positioned, deep down, I knew something was awry. This was not like her, even after her diagnosis. Her reluctance to move was abnormal and out of the ordinary. I remember trying to move the cushions she was laying on to see if she needed some help to get up. We pulled her cushions out of the crammed kitchen corner, and tried to get her up, to no avail. We weren’t sure what was going on, but it certainly was not reassuring. As I write this, part of me wants to remember what happened exactly so I can document it as it happened. But my memory on this is unclear, and it’s probably best it stayed that way because the days that will follow are some emotionally tough days. I remember receiving a text on Wednesday, from a good friend of mine inquiring if I could play basketball the next day as one of his friends from college was coming to play. I never responded, which gives me thinking that this new issue Lucky had started on Wednesday. On Wednesday, I also bought some slip resistant mats, which also leads me to believe that she was having trouble standing on Wednesday and not Thursday. So I never responded to my friend’s text on Wednesday. The following is our text conversation which has been slightly edited for showing purposes:

Me: “Probably not man, didn’t sleep well.”
Thursday, December 27, 2012, 11:17 AM

Him: “Lol that’s a terrible excuse”   
11:36 AM

Him: “Neither did I, I slept at 3, woke up at 8, slept again till 10”
11:37 AM

Him: “Don’t be *lazy. Come play”
11:37 AM

Him: “My friend from ______ said 3 of his friends bailed so it’s just him and 2 others and the rest of us (a couple names)”
11:56 AM 

Me: “I’ll have to think about it. If so, when and where?”
12:03 PM

Him: “_____ at 1. What’s there to think about? Don’t use the sleep excuse lol it’s the worst excuse ever lol”
12:06 PM

Me: “Oh wow. That’s early. Earliest ever, I think.”
12:08 PM

Him: “Yea it’s earlier”
12:09 PM

Him: “I texted you about it yesterday too though remember?”
12:10 PM

Me: “So how many total?”
12:11 PM

Him: “I think 8 if you and _(my brother)_ come.”
12:26

Him: “Can you?”
12:38 PM

Him: “How about 1:30?”
12:39 PM

Me: “Alright”
12:41 PM


I remember where I was and what state of mind I was in when I responded to these texts. I was incredibly stressed. Stressed to the point where I felt an escape when going out to buy food to eat. I was at Subway and I remember reclining the seat in the car and thinking to myself about how I felt. I felt more of a relief being outside of the home and outside from the situation. I remember looking up at the blue skies, yet not enjoying the view of miles up. A view that normally inspires me about nature, grandeur, and thinking to myself how high up Mount Everest must be, I did not enjoy these thoughts when they entered my consciousness. I felt somewhat guilty for, honestly, preferring this moment of being outside, temporarily away from the situation. Every time I entered home, I would always check to see if Lucky had gotten up by herself and moved, only to find that she has barely moved. I was beyond worried at this point because I knew if she was not going to the bathroom, we had an immediate crisis on our hands.

I want to temporarily address the conversation I posted here. I posted the conversation here because it serves as a marking point and significant event in the turn of events of this entire nightmare that started in August. When I was outside Subway, and saw these texts my friend had sent me, which believe me, he is not like that at all, I did not feel angry. What I did feel was the predominant feeling of “I’ve got to get Lucky to get up, or we all know where this is headed”. This feeling of desperation and deep down, a feeling of her returning back to God was right around the corner. I felt platonic to my friend’s insistence and perhaps from an outsiders third-party’s perspective, insensitive and despicable. I felt platonic generally speaking because he did not know about Lucky’s recent change in status. He knew that Lucky was diagnosed with cancer. He himself has a golden retriever, also named Lucky, and from knowing him with time, I knew he was not being insensitive to the situation purely because he did not know about the recent turn in Lucky’s status. I did not tell him, so how could he know? I do remember thinking to myself that I could really be blowing up a fuse from his apparent insistence and ignorance, but I could not blame him. It wasn’t his fault that Lucky developed cancer. From all the learning and soul-searching that I did during this time and even before all this happened from Dolores Cannon’s work, I knew if there was someone to blame, it was myself. For I failed to be responsible for Lucky. I failed to make sure she was getting the best quality food, water, exercise, and lifestyle. I never seriously took the time like I do now with all these articles that I write to see if Lucky was meeting the standard of care. Sure the fact that dog food companies can sell horrible, low-grade quality food to pets is despicable and irresponsible! Do not get me wrong, they are absolutely a huge problem, but I could have cared enough to check up and learn about the quality of food I was feeding my dog. So although I very well could have been angry at my friend for being seemingly insensitive to what was going on, I wasn’t. The unfavorable realization that this was seriously going downhill was apparent in the back of my mind.

And as one can see, I did decide to go “play” basketball. I remember feeling like I needed to be there for Lucky if she needed help standing to go to the bathroom. But I remember my parents “telling” me to go out and play because there was nothing I could do about it at the time. I was waiting anxiously to hope that she would get up and go use the bathroom. Having fun by playing basketball was the farthest thing from my mind. Heh. Ironic as a somewhat insightful thought just came to me, and it’s the connection that I used to choose to have fun by playing basketball over Lucky’s exercise and playtime and now, having fun was the farthest thing from my mind. I did not care one bit, and this was true all while I played. I remember when I got there, I remember getting there late, and my other friends that I play ball with whom are constantly late, were already there shooting around. I remember walking up to them, not saying anything and with no real discernible emotion on my face. I said hi to my friend and the two others gave a smile and asked in an inquisitive yet slightly teasing tone of voice, “so, didn’t sleep well huh?” indicating incredulity, probably expecting me to smile and give a “caught in the act” response to their joke. I did what felt natural to do. I simply kept my distance to not warrant a further question from them, looked up, nodded my head down with a small sigh, and looked straight ahead, experiencing the reminder of the situation at hand. They were amply competent at reading my body language and facial expressions as they all caught on nearly instantly that something was amiss. One of them asked, “wait, no, really, is everything ok?”, to which I looked away and did not give a response to, not out of wanting to be rude, but out of the potentially overwhelming stress of the situation while not wanting to be vulnerable with someone who did not already know what was going on. I could tell in a split second that my good friend deciphered my non-verbal response to my other friend’s question, and knew Lucky’s condition had gone downhill. My good friend’s college friends played competitively, and I know that if I was not in that stressed state of mind, I would have competed with a lot more energy than I did. I felt completely uninspired to try. Every time I caught the ball, energy seemed to drain from my body, and while running up and down the court, I would be thinking about the triviality of the game. How could people care so much over a game? My dog is in pain, things aren’t going well, and I’m supposed to care if the ball goes through a hoop? Thoughts of comparison between myself with that of my friend’s college friends came to my mind, but I could not care. How could I care? I remember looking at the farthest horizon, toward some mountains, and jogging up and down the court intermittently, then looking at my brother and indicating that this could not make an impression on me. We were both very low on motivation to play the game. I remember making a shot with the thought of “who cares?” percolating throughout my mind and body. After we were done playing ball, my friend asked if my brother and I wanted to spend some time with a couple of our basketball friends at his house to play a board game, which is something that has never happened before. I felt appreciative because he tacitly understood that I could use the company, and to be honest, as the way I felt waiting outside of Subway, I felt less stressed being outside of my home and being away from the situation. It’s very mixed feelings as I simultaneously felt guilty for wanting time to distract myself from what was happening at home, but at the same time, just the fact that I could get away, was something that I my soul was aching for. My friend told me that I could meet at his house a little later, after we had showered. I don’t remember exactly what happened – I’m glad I don’t – but I didn’t make it to his house.

Him: “Hey my mom said we can play here. Wanna come over around 5:50 till like 9?”     
Thursday, December 27th, 2013, 5:05 PM

Him: “Hey did you get my text?”
5:32 PM

Me: “Yea, I’m thinking”
5:33 PM

Him: “Ok”
5:38 PM

Him: “Not coming?”
8:22 PM


I didn’t respond until the next day. I believe I remember what happened Thursday night. My brother and I were in the backyard. We were manually trying to get Lucky to stand up and go to the bathroom as she had not urinated since this ordeal began. I remember previously yelling at my mom in response to what I thought was an insensitive comment. “If she doesn’t get up and pee, we all know where this is headed!” We were all exasperated. We tried helping her up again, to no avail. I watched futilely as she just seemed to struggle to stand up for whatever reason. Be it muscle weakness, balance issues, or a combination, she ended up on the ground. I remember it being dark, except for our backyard light that was on. It was a clear night. I let out a long sigh. I remember saying to my brother quietly, privately, and hesitantly, “Hey, I think we need to go for a walk.”   
   



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