As I type this, the time is 10:31 PM of Tuesday; May 21st,
2013. It is day 6 of my summer break. I made a choice to play ball today. I
made a choice to organize my room and priceless possessions. I made these choices
instead of staring at the television and subjecting myself to mindless, uncouth
sexual jokes. I’ve been stuck in a bit of a rut lately, ever since this summer
break started. I’ve failed to sustain myself after waking up at 4:22 AM. I’ve
given into temptation. I am not tuned into my goals. Every morning so far, I’ve
turned on the lights in the bathroom, voided, and went back to bed. I talked
myself out of one of the most important steps to waking up early, washing my
face. I hope these two choices I’ve made today can help me gain momentum again
tomorrow morning.
When shooting around today, an Indian woman was walking a
Golden Retriever puppy by the basketball courts of my elementary school. My
eyes were glued to the puppy; so small, young, full of joy and curiosity. I
couldn’t help but smile as it reminded me of my beloved dog, Lucky, of ten and
a half years. I feel much love and warmth whenever I think of her. Her
adorable, friendly, always innocent-looking face, her sassy demeanor with
wagging tail and ear perked, filled with love and welcome whenever I’d come
home. She was and still is, absolutely dear to me. It’s almost been exactly 5
months to the day since she left. My life has evolved in a way that has gradually
fed me portions to allow me to connect the dots to understanding spirituality
itself, and science of it. I could make the case that everything I’ve
experienced in my life has contributed to my understanding today. My desire for
understanding, exposure to being open and accepting of many people’s
perspectives, exposure to a strong science background growing up, exposure to
many paranormal television shows that allowed me to think about the core of
truth in all the myriad of stories, learning about Dolores Cannon in freshman
year of college and making connections with what’s happened with Lucky through
by taking the opportunity to understand about cancer and how it relates to an
afterlife, God, the meaning of life, and who I want to be in life. I mention
the growth of my spirituality because it is intricately tied in to the
decisions I’ve made in this learning experience, what I take away from this,
and how I ultimately feel about what has transpired. This is the only the
second time that I’ve written about what has happened, and the first where I
will be going into more detail. There is just so much I want to say on this; so
many thoughts like that of a gigantic redwood tree with extensive branches of
philosophical, scientific, ethical, and spiritual topics, all interconnecting.
It’s as if one thought, branches out to another, to another, and all the while,
I’m trying to record all the thoughts as they come into my awareness in a
logical, presentable order. In this post, I want to talk about the relationship
I shared with Lucky, what happened to her, what I’ve learned from these series
of events, how it’s impacted who I am, and where I will go from here.
Post First Originally Published on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013, 6:51 PM
No comments:
Post a Comment