Today is the first day of my summer break where I am actually up after turning off my alarm. The difference between today and all the other days prior? I did do the procedure I have been doing for the vast majority of past days of waking up at this time, that is putting my alarm in the bathroom so when going off, I have to get up, turn the light on to turn in off, urinate, and just not finishing the procedure by washing my face. The past few days where I've not been up at this time, I've gotten up to do the procedure. It's just that I talked myself out of washing my face, convincing myself that I had no agenda to really do so why not head back to bed for just one more time. I also made the conscious decision to wake up at this time refreshed, instead of being groggy. To be entirely fair, I slept in for the past six or seven days, but yesterday afternoon and night, I made three decisions out of choice for the benefit for myself versus sitting there absorbing mindless garbage called television. I decided to organize my stuff instead of watching Rules of Engagement. I decided to go shoot around and practice my form- the day before I was shooting around and decided to work on my form - instead of watching Family Guy. And yesterday night, I decided to use this momentum and started working on an article that I've been thinking about writing for months.
"Sometimes, people are too afraid to go for what they really want.
They think - What if I fail?
But that's the thing.
By going for what you REALLY want - you've already won half the battle.
You have the DESIRE.
And even if you don't get what you want, you sure learn a heck of a lot
along the way, lessons that you couldn't have learned otherwise.
Lessons that can help get something else you really want in the future.
It's a win/win. "
- Brian Kim MIT of Monday; May 20th, 2013
You know I was watching the Red Bull commercial talking about what inspires you. It's one commercial that I will look up or stay longer to watch all the way. I can't say that about most commercials, and the commercials that use sex appeal are just plain shallow. This one is plain inspiring though. I have many goals, all listed in a previous post. This blog is really all about documenting my journey throughout life of self-improvement and self-empowerment through all the plethora of rich resources and knowledge out there with the advent of the Internet. As I said, I was going through my old stuff yesterday, and throwing stuff out. I was throwing some stuff out that if I have my own place, I might want to organize into a box and keep long term. But since I don't, I reminisced about it and somewhat nostalgically marked the time when I dumped them into the recycle bin. I know, this may sound weird for anyone reading this to understand, but it's never like that when it's our own priceless items. I think to yourself that people will laugh when trying to understand why I have a feeling of nostalgia from looking at the stuff I wrote down to myself in my high school daily planner. But I do, and I don't think it's all that laughable. But as I looked through many of the things I had written down in the past, scribbled away on bent, marked, obsolete pieces of binder paper, I realize that my understanding of who I am today is not something that started with the inception of this blog. It really has been something I've been doing since at least early high school; a lot of the writings in there goes back that far. Back then - surprisingly for me - in hindsight, I already had this desire for adventure that I now know and most significantly, the desire to be noticed for something admirable, respectable, and commendable. Back then, it was a mix of becoming the best basketball player, becoming more popular and having more friends versus what I want know which is to have depth in relationships, getting attention from girls, getting stronger, wanting to become a self-improvement expert for others, becoming a better public speaker, or the likes. It's surprising for me in hindsight because it took me quite long to be able to understand and articulate into words of an educated adult exactly what it is and what it was that I wanted out of life. I was hitting on to key words and ideas, or perhaps I knew what I wanted but just did not have the time or effort to put my thoughts into an organized manner like I do know. And as I read what I typed back to myself, I realize many of the things I wanted then, I still am pursuing now. Just know with more clarity. As I wrote about here before my 30 day trial of waking early, I feel that quieter people tend to be not noticed by people and by society. And unsurprisingly, this has always bothered me.
And there it is, my main motivation for my desire for self-improvement is to gain more recognition from others and society. The status of who I am in the future is very much dependent of how much effort I put in towards reaching my goals- and as I've stated before, many of my goals are not all self-serving.
Today is Day 20, it's summer, and my pursuit of my goals will curb any boredom that linger into my awareness.
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